Unfinished Love Song ’01

I once wrote a poem in ode to a fantasy
And never had imagined what Love already planned for me
There was a time when I loved her lips
There was a time when I studied her hips
There was time when I was broken in bits
There was time when I would I struggle with this
Then came the day when I got over the shhhh
She had me stressed out
Figured to disconnect would be the best route
I let my guard down and she stomped my chest out
I wanted to be everything that she needed
But everything she really wanted I was too short to be it
Arms could not reach, and so I got defeated
In her film, my scene got deleted
But
You live and you love and you learn, finally I began to see it
Everything my heart required, she could never meet it
So it was best for us both when Love retreated
As soon as I conceded, I beat it
And she became my past

 

The Voyeur: A conversation w/ Poetry

Yes
Yes I was watching
I like to watch

You’re beautiful

The tone on your skin
The move of your hips
The softness of your voice

Seductive

I noticed
I knew that you saw me watching
You enjoy being watched

You wanted me to

Yes
Yes I thought of touching you
I thought of us touching each other

I thought of us together

As I watched you
As the world around us slipped away
As the fantasy melted into something tangible

I anticipated this moment

You came to me as you have now
I pulled you close as I have now
And now there is nothing to be said

Just feel

 

We Were Always Alone Together

So there we were
Alone at last
Well…not really alone
Together
Finally away
Away from doing
Away from being
Escaping the rapidly paced madness
The chaos and calamity we call living
Together
Although still alone
I guess as humans can be
So we were
Alone….together
And together we sat
And I’d never felt more alone
As she expressed
She’d never felt…together
But she was alone
I felt we were in love
Together
I was wrong
The noise that arises from the clamour
The clatter of everyday living
Drowns out the sound of two hearts
Becoming un-intertwined
We escaped the noise too late
So together we sat in the silence
But not together
Not anymore
Just…alone

 

At The End of Infatuation

I woke up from a pleasant dream one day
Filled with the warmth of memories
That never happened
Stolen moments that exist
Only in my imagination
As I aroused
Unusually ready for the day
I could smell you as if you were laying next to me
It felt good

The thought of you laying next to me
But I knew it had to end as all dreams do
The time we shared was special
The time we never shared was special
It taught me how to love
In a way
You taught me how to love
You were mine once
You were never mine once
And that worked out perfectly

 

Broke & Broken

No More Excuses
I’ve Paid For Too Many Losses
Money, Time, Dreams; All Gone

 

The Drowing Man

There he is
The drowning man
He’s drowning again
To the casual observer
He’s a victim of misfortune
An innocent soul
Who’s found himself
Facing overwhelming odds
Poor fellow
To the regulars at pool side
He’s the fool who can’t swim
Who’s always wandering
Into the deep end
Poor fool
He’s swallowing large amounts of water
His lungs are filling with liquid
He’s grasping for something solid
Anything worth holding onto
But nothings there

 

Stockholm’s Syndrome

I dance to the rhythm of imperfection

A slave to the beat of inconsistency

I could get free anytime I choose

I stop dancing whenever I tire

But my freedom is only in theory really

When the music stops my thoughts remain bound to perfecting the dance

As if the dance itself is freedom

And the desire for freedom the true Slaver

 

Note to Self

Is it love that you love
Or the idea of love

Maybe the desire to be loved
Over loving in return

Maybe you do love to love
But
Requited love you do not love

For love’s demand
To be confident
In your own strength to love
Requires a love you desire not

To first love you

Alone you love

And Death will find you alone

 

A Thousand Times

I owe you a thousand apologies

Writen in essay form in a thousand words or more

To be read a loud a thousand times a year

For the next millennia

I never deserved your love

Not Then, Not Now

Yours is a love is made of tender strength and quiet passion

Of unprovoked compromises and unbridled patience

Yours is a love to be savored

I owe you a thousand do overs at least

One for every moment I wasted

I’d turn time like a dime on it’s head if it would make things right

Restore the balance

I’d study for a thousand years to learn all the ways to love you

Before our love begins

Maybe then my one thousand I’m sorrys would carry weight

My words wouldn’t seem so hollow

My heart would be so full with you

I wouldn’t be so full of it

There’d be no room

You’d fill each chamber up

A thousand times each

Just like you do now

 

Change

It seems funny but
The skin I’m most comfortable in
Is just a reflection of the shadows
I was breast fed in
And my actual complexion
Most closely resembles He who is perfection
He promised me heavenly ascension
If I just stay in connection with Him
So I allow myself to shed myself
In order to grow into myself
And repeat this process
Over and again
Over and again
Over and again
Until it’s over